A while ago in my AP Chemistry class, this one annoying kid and my friend were having a weird argument about who was better. The annoying kid said, “Well, at least I have a girlfriend!” to which I responded, “Whatever. Your girlfriend has 67 protons.” In response, the entire class, including the teacher, turned their heads to look at the periodic table on the wall. The element with 67 protons is holmium, with the chemical symbol “Ho.” My teacher was the first to laugh. MLIA

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Geek life

A few weeks ago, I was listening to music on my laptop while waiting for a call. Immediately as the next song started, my phone went off, playing the same song in perfect synch. I got so excited, I almost missed the call. MLIA

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Test

Last week, in Language Arts, we were discussing Harry Potter. Being a fan, I told them I read the fifth book so many times, I once counted how many times the book said ‘Harry’. My answer was 3532. Today, a quiet boy in class came up to me and said, “You missed one.” I’m in love. MLIA.

When I was little I would write my initials on my one dollar bills before I spent them. Today, I bought a cup of coffee and my change included a dollar bill with my initials in the corner. I’ve waited 10 years for this to happen. It’s bound to be a good day. MLIA

Today, I had a test. This really obnoxious boy (who always finishes first and brags about how smart he is) said in a loud voice “Well THAT was ridiculously easy.” The look on his face when the teacher appeared behind him and said “So was your mom last night” was priceless. MLIA

Behold Delores, one of the many female bears at a zoo in Leipzig suffering from a baffling and sudden loss of hair. I have nothing to say other than, wow, this photo is extremely disturbing. I feel like I’m seeing something that I shouldn’t. And now, so are you.

Today, for fun I gave an extra credit question on a test that asked what letter came after Q. About 30 people started whispering the alphabet song. I teach college.

Yesterday in Physics someone’s phone went off to the tune of the Justice League. After the professor paused his lecture to acknowledge the phone, the kid answered his phone and replied, “The University is in trouble?! We’re on our way!” The kid stood up, ripped off his t-shirt, revealed the Superman costume underneath, and exclaimed “Super Friends, Assemble!” Scattered across the class of about 150, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Green Lantern, and Flash all stood up and promptly left the class to…